“Good Morning, KRM Marketing Department, how may I help you?” Jane sang into her headset. “Oh Mr Jones – hi.” Trying to sound professional she continued, “Of course, I’m on my way.” Her colleagues glanced at her as though she was making her way along death row. Jane knocked nervously on the door.

“Ah, Julia” he said.

“It’s Jane, Sir,” she replied. She had worked for the company for nearly four years and the man had not got her name right once.

“Jane?” he replied, surprised. “Can you get me a drink, please? Rather a lot of paperwork to do, I’ll have the usual.” He waved his hand in the air without looking up, to usher her out of the door as quickly as possible.

What an asshole, she thought. I’m a marketing assistant not a bloody tea lady. Just because his P.A. is off on vacation doesn’t mean he can call on me every few minutes. “Anyone else want a drink whilst I’m going anyway?” she called. Predictably half a dozen answers came back at her. She mumbled obscenities to herself and stomped off.

At the Maxpax machine she looked at the tray that she had balanced on top of the water cooler, trying to recall all the orders. What am I missing? she wondered? Oh, of course, Chicken soup for Baldly Locks and the Three Hairs, I don’t know how he can drink that stuff – it looks and smells like something my cat would bring up.

The Maxpax machine whirred into action making sounds that reminded her of the cat bringing something up. She gingerly put the last cup on the tray and walked back to her section on the busy 14th floor.

“Right, here we are, who had the orange squash?” She handed out the drinks out and then knocked on the office door again and the usual grunt followed, “Mr Jones here’s your…” she stopped mid sentence as her brain was uttering the words ‘cat sick’.

“Chicken soup?” He looked at her suspiciously.

“Yes, that’s right, your chicken soup.” Jane avoided eye contact.

She felt herself retch as she focused on the floating bits of whatever the hell it was they put in that putrid drink. She returned to her desk and cradled her cup of tea, watching the steam wisp upwards. Ah ha, two e-mails! The first was from Maria who sat just two desks away. “Thanks for the coffee” and a smiley face. The second message was from Jenny, in the call centre: ‘OH MY GOD!!!!! We have a new temp that started today who is absolutely, knicker wettingly gorgeous. You just wait until you see him. Gotta go as we have thirty-two calls waiting in a queue. Love J xxxx.’

“Hey, Maria, have you seen this new guy who started today in the call centre? Jenny has just e-mailed me and said they have this stunning bloke working there.”

“I haven’t seen anyone in that call centre who doesn’t resemble a troll, so no in answer to your question” Maria replied, without looking up from her copy of Hello.

“I might venture down there later. I could do with a bit of eye candy.”

“Why do you need eye candy? I thought you were dating some new chap?” Jane asked.

“Had to end that, he started to get some weird obsession thing with my feet, I came home early and found him in my wardrobe with my new strappy sandals.”

Jane nearly spat out her tea as the giggle made its way up from her stomach.

“It’s not funny, those sandals cost me £95 and I didn’t spend all that money so some bloke could come round and paw them. So, Missy, I’m back on the market, looking for a normal guy.”

“Well, if you do go down there let me know what he’s like. You’re not the only one who is on the market, you know.” Jane had a hopeful look on her face.

On her way out Jane considered having a peek out onto the 9th floor, just in case this god was hanging about. But when she got into the lift and the American-voiced recording asked her to choose a floor, she resisted and pushed the silver ‘G’ button. The doors closed and another day came to an end.